This blog post was written by guest blogger Liana West, founder of Accelerated Hypnotherapy, a Certified in OEI Therapy for Trauma, and a Specialist in Trauma Recovery with the American Hypnosis Association.
Betrayal Trauma: What It Is and Why It Hurts
Betrayal trauma happens when someone you deeply trust-like a partner, friend, or family member-violates that trust at home or at work. This kind of trauma can cause you to feel hopeless, anxious and triggered AF. Betrayal trauma often leads to symptoms similar to PTSD, including intrusive thoughts, anxiety, and difficulty trusting others. Here’s my story.
My Story of Infidelity Trauma
I was in a relationship that, from the outside, looked solid but my intuition had been telling me that something was off. Infidelity is hard to prove, but I was about to get receipts.
Literal receipts.
My ex had given me lingerie for Christmas but I live in Canada and so in December all I really wanted was a warm fluffy robe and some fuzzy slippers. So I was looking for the receipt at his place. I couldn’t ask him because he used to get mad when I would ask for receipts, and I was about to find out why…
I looked in the kitchen and on his desk but I couldn’t see them. As I was walking back through his hallway, my intuition said, “Stop! Look up!”
I looked up. My intuition said, “Do you see that box?”
On the top of a really high shelf I saw a box. My intuition aid , “Ya, that box. Bring it down here.”
I pulled the box down and there was the receipt for my lingerie! My intuition said, “Take a picture of it and put the box back.”
When I looked at the receipt later, it was an order for the pink frilly thing he bought me, but he had also bought the same pink frilly thing in a size extra small and a large. My logic jumped in and said, he just have made a mistake.
But my feelings told me how I really felt about it.
He was cheating.
Then I had flashbacks of all the times I had asked him about things that didn’t make sense, all the times he gaslighted me and I knew he was cheating.
That night, I had a dream that I called Victoria Secret.
So when I woke up I called Victoria’s Secret and there was a total of three orders with 14 different pieces of lingerie.
And I had only received one of them.
So I confronted him on a road trip and asked him questions that I already knew the answers to.
He kept lying.
When we got back home, I confronted him about the lingerie.
He kept lying.
I realized that he was more committed to lying and cheating than he was to me and our relationship and that made it easier to leave.
Why Traditional Trauma Therapy Sometimes Isn’t Enough
I felt shame, anger, confusion so I went to therapy.I went three times a week because of the overwhelming emotions. I talked to friends, family, basically anyone who would listen to me to try to resolve the way I was feeling. But talking about trauma only makes it worse. It wasn’t helping me. I was stuck.
Talking about it revivified all the bad feelings that I had when I realized that he had been cheating all along. And it was these feelings that kept me going back to therapy.
Hypnotherapy for Betrayal Trauma
I started looking for alternatives to therapy and went to see hypnotherapist and I started feeling different about everything that happened. I started to feel like the betrayal was in the past. I started feeling better and I started trusting myself again.
Eventually, I started dating again but I thought everybody was lying to me. The past was sabotaging my future.
Overcoming Trust Issues and Relationship Trauma
Hypnotherapy was able to finally resolve the emotions, free up space to begin trusting myself and putting the emotions of experience in the past.
I was able to resolve the emotional element of the trauma, and I started trusting others and started to enjoy dating and meeting people.
And met the love of my life!
I can’t promise that you’ll meet your soul mate but hypnotherapy can help remove all the blocks that are standing in the way.
If you’ve experienced betrayal trauma and it’s left you feeling hopeless, anxious, and triggered AF, hypnotherapy can help resolve the intrusive thoughts and the intense feelings that keep you stuck in the past, even if you’ve tried all kinds of therapy but nothing has worked.
Whether you choose to stay or leave, hypnotherapy can help put the past into the past, where it belongs, so you can create a whole new future for yourself and your life.
Listen to this episode on YouTube or listen on Spotify
Learn more about Liana’s work with betrayal trauma at acceleratedhypnotherapy.com & oeitherapy.com
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